Notes On Stalking By D. Matrix

i think i stopped trusting in peoples ability to be good, not fucked up people when they started having this innate sense of knowing i ignore peoples massive nasty flaws for my own sake (i hate everyone if i dont…) and taking advantage of that and being deceptive.

if i would have stopped being so nice a year and a half ago, maybe i wouldnt have had a guy come in my house covered in blood looking for me. good thing my gut has my back… i slept in my closet the night before.

i swear, the minute everything goes well for me, it bombs for everyone else. worst part is, id almost like to be a martyr just to change that, but i know that i deserve to be happy too, and at the end of the day, my feelings matter the most. no one else is going to care, i have to. shameless selflessness is going to get me nothing but unhappy then dead. nice guys finish last eh? thats only true when you dont know when being “selfish” is appropriate. we are all mediocre people, some of us just choose to do exceptional or cruel things sometimes. i do what is right when convenient. that only makes me mediocre. im cool with that. i love myself. if you cant love yourself dont expect anyone else to. im going to be loved. i think i can live with being a little selfish for once.

cant run your guilt on me, fools. that is simply shoving a moral dilemma to my throat, and i have simply chosen what the vast magority would choose. unlike society nowadays, which runs on survival of those who have money, i believe in survival of the fittest. the miracles of modern science have unfortunately hindered us. like i said. moral dilemmas ;)