i reap what i sow, i get what i deserve. logic and honesty, the only reasons im a decent human being.
for everything there is a price, and every payment shall be equal, no more no less.
i gave forgiveness, even if they are not sorry, and by sorry i mean an apology backed by actions that prove it. in that forgiveness i dropped all loathing i had for them. i sent them a smileyface. they thought i was fucking with them. i sent them a happy birthday message, although facebook had not notified me of their birthday because we are not friends. that happy birthday turned into them realizing how they fucked up by losing a logical, loyal, honest intelligent friend. they realized life was a lot less shitty with me in it. my happy birthday was the only not shitty part of their birthday. theyre aware of how my situation took a turn for the better, and its because i get what i deserve.
your decisions were made by you, do not regret them no matter how bad they were, thats lunacy. if you dont want to regret something, dont do it. just remember, to win you need to play the game. life is just a bunch of yes/no questions. free will is also necessitated. you couldnt have done things differently, and you chose to do what you did.
you may ask, “what did i do to deserve all this shit?”. did you ever once think that maybe, just maybe you were paying in advance? im glad i got shit first and happy later. i can appreciate my happiness instead of mourning my loss. not to mention, happiness first means you dont get to appreciate it, you dont know the difference.
and trust me, the difference is huge. when youre stuck with unfortunate bullshit for twenty years, a hatful of love feels like an ocean.
love yourself. no one else is going to if you dont. if you do, someone else just might too.
yours truly, the internet’s gf D.Matrix
