i hate everyone.
im not kidding. i wish i was. mental illness is not a joke. if it was its one sick cruel fucking joke.
“dude this is taking too long, im going to bed tell me tomorrow”
uh thanks, you asked me to tell you what i suffer from and what happened to me to make me that way, but you expected someone as totally fucked as me to be able to keep it to 100 words or less? are you fucking kidding me? fuck you and your little dog too.
borderline personality disorder isnt funny. its very real, its very scary and very dangerous too. society doesnt treat mentall illness like the disease it is. we dont raise awareness or research money because its not seeable. yet its very seeable. i have the audacity to say mentall illness is WORSE than cancer. yknow why? cancer patients value life. they hurt, they get sad, but they value life. there is treatment. there are things you can do.to win the battle. there is research and fundraisers. what do we have? meds and straightjackets? that doesnt make anything better! thats not a cure thats a “holy shit this shit is bad and has us beat”. cancer patients value life. we dont.
“i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad/ the dreams in which im dying are the best ive ever had/ i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take/ when people run in circles, its a very very/ mad world”
its true. we romanticize death and feel like shit about it. we KNOW its selfish and cowardly. but to us, it makes sense. we figure “you would euthanize a suffering animal, why cant assisted suicide be legal? its more humane”. some of us KNOW were crazy. were tired of being unwell.
“i wonder at night as i melt back.into bed/ if sometimes what could kill you/ should have just left you for dead”
makes you stronger my ass. im the weakest ive ever been after 15 solid years of traumatic unfortunate shit. i listen to the eureka album by mother mother because it makes me remember im not the only one. ridiculous amounts of people from suffer mental illness. why arent we doing more?